December 2011
63 posts
On ur way to Vegas?Stormy on day 2 of no pee or poop mistakes!! #realtextsfrommom
Dec 30th
I write verses and verses about what perverse is. Twistin chicks like spliff smokin naughty nurses…. http://t.co/FB2SezxY
Dec 30th
I write verses and verses about what perverse is. Twistin chicks like spliff smokin naughty nurses. #ShouldaBeenARapper
Dec 30th
I’m coining a new phrase for good things. “Pants down perfect.” ex. “We had dinner by the ocean, and that mermaid came out from the waves and gave everyone margaritas. Today was pants down perfect”. You’re welcome. 
Dec 30th
You Still Like Movies
http://www.rogerebert.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=%2F20111228%2FCOMMENTARY%2F111229973%2F Excellent read from Roger Ebert.  Any time someone tells you an industry is dying, what they mean to say is that their share in it is shrinking.  The entertainment industry isn’t dying, its evolving. Away from the hands of the giant studios and executives who have raped artistic integrity for the...
Dec 29th
To all my Maryland friends… If I didn’t see you, I’m sorry. If I did see you but only once, I’m still kind of sorry… Time waits for no man. Not even Santa. Until next time! 
Dec 28th
It’s never a good sign when a movie’s on for 20 minutes and you open up the laptop. #TheDevil’sDouble
Dec 27th
#Geaux #Drew #Brees !!!
Dec 27th
Totally rooting for #Drew Brees tonight to break the passing record. I believe in the power of the mole-thingy!!!
Dec 27th
Happy Boxing Day everyone!!
Dec 26th
Tonight is known as Christmas, or also the night I fell in love with #Portlandia. “Shell art is over!”
Dec 26th
If status updates are reliable, then the #Kindle Fire is this year’s adult Furby. http://t.co/1uFsVPEW
Dec 26th
If status updates are reliable, then the #Kindle Fire is this year’s adult Furby. 
Dec 26th
Dec 25th
Sitting down to watch “A Christmas Carol” starring Alastair Sim with my family…A tradition that hasn’t missed a single year since i’ve been born. :)
Dec 25th
The sun has set. Merry Christmas, all. 
Dec 25th
Sorry Tebow. Jesus takes his birthday weekend off. 
Dec 25th
I feel like #facebook timeline is what it would be like if you gave a baby a time machine so it could document the past however it saw fit…Oh. Also the baby is fucking stupid. 
Dec 23rd
Pissed… All this rain could be snow if winter would just man up and get cold already. 
Dec 23rd
#Colts making a late season playoff run!
Dec 23rd
Truesy Musings: FUCKING CROOKS →
HELP MY BUDDY MIKE TRUESDALE OUT REBLOG AND REPOST PLEASE miketruesdale: You may have seen me posting about Eco Pharmacy on here, Twitter and Facebook trying to get them a $50,000 grant in the Pepsi Refresh Project. I was doing social media for them at a rate we agreed upon and a $1,000 bonus to come if they did indeed win a grant. When I started they were in 125th…
Dec 23rd
9 notes
Overeating until you get indigestion and then using egg nog as a form of Pepto Bismol is normal, right?… http://t.co/bBljHN4Y
Dec 20th
Overeating until you get indigestion and then using egg nog as a form of Pepto Bismol is normal, right? #America #Christmas
Dec 20th
1 note
Philosophical Contradiction
“Freedom of speech, means that we put up with a lot of verbal and visual garbage in order to make sure that individuals have the right to say what needs to be said, even when it is inconvenient or unpopular. We forgive the sacrifices of free speech because we value its blessings. But when it comes to economic freedom, we are less forgiving of the cycles of growth and loss, of trial and...
Dec 19th
“Kim Jong’s Dead!” “Oh dear! Last I heard he was just ill!” #VaudevilleTweets
Dec 19th
People need to remember Bette Midler. 
Dec 19th
Has anyone else noticed the theme of “Fuck you Santa!” that seems to permeate holiday commercials anymore? 
Dec 19th
Tebow JUST WINS…Until he plays good teams. 
Dec 19th
Who’s Santa’s commercial agent? That dude books like crazy this time of year. 
Dec 19th
SOMEHOW, one of my parents managed to put the connecting end of my laptop charger INTO a lit candle. It still works. #MacUserForLife
Dec 19th
#Suckerpunch is the most mindnumbing movie of all time. Not because it sucks (it does) but because no movie… http://t.co/ZhXJq25I
Dec 18th
#Suckerpunch is the most mindnumbing movie of all time. Not because it sucks (it does) but because no movie has ever caused such a war of confusion between my sense of taste and my crotch. 
Dec 18th
Dec 18th
149 notes
Photo: Pretty As You Are http://t.co/4zQf68bZ
Dec 17th
Dec 17th
5,522 notes
Smelling The Greatest Candle Of My Life Right Now. #RealGayRealTrue
Dec 17th
“Cynical [is an overused] term. That if you actually question something that’s obviously fucked up, you’re considered cynical” - Bill Burr 
Dec 17th
Chris Hitchens on his children. “Nothing can make one so happily exhilarated or so frightened: it’s a solid lesson in the limitations of self to realize that your heart is running around inside someone else’s body.”
Dec 16th
Moderator: Rick Santorum, you canvassed all of Iowa, every county, and yet your campaign has yet to catch… http://t.co/6i92sgB7
Dec 16th
Moderator: Rick Santorum, you canvassed all of Iowa, every county, and yet your campaign has yet to catch fire here for the caucuses. How do you explain that? Santorum: Theres a caucus here? I was looking for gays to stone. 
Dec 16th
I think I’m going to just start telling people that Obama made Netflix separate streaming from dvd delivery, AND he changed the facebook layout… Cause this whole “detaining U.S. citizens without trial” thing is falling way behind in the “I’m outraged” category. 
Dec 16th
“When the Chinese told Google that they had to block sites or they couldn’t do [business] in their country,… http://t.co/UMnLJjej
Dec 15th
“When the Chinese told Google that they had to block sites or they couldn’t do [business] in their country, they managed to figure out how to block sites.” - Chris Dodd These are the people who make the decisions in our daily lives. 
Dec 14th
I say this because you may genuinely realize it, but if you are one of those people who posts pointless, do nothing, passive aggressive posts about (insert tragedy here) then you are an asshole. You are not a good person, you don’t “care” or “aren’t too cool” as the posts suggests, you are a lazy, do nothing asshole who needs to look caring in a way that is as...
Dec 14th
I come wiith the sickness, hollywood buisness. You know what my agent doesn’t celebrate? Christmas. #ShouldaBeenARapper
Dec 13th
Ian Gary: Professional Companionship To The Emotionally Unavailable. http://t.co/Faf4TFlG
Dec 12th
Ian Gary: Professional Companionship To The Emotionally Unavailable.
Dec 11th
No matter what context, the sound of aluminum cans is always the sound of a life that didn’t go right…. http://t.co/131JI5hC
Dec 9th
No matter what context, the sound of aluminum cans is always the sound of a life that didn’t go right. Always. 
Dec 9th
Pff. More like HuGO see something else. #IansMovieReviews
Dec 8th